I want you to know that I woke up this morning, not believing or in any way wanting to believe that one week had already passed. Each day has felt like the minutes move slower than before. Never in all of our planning did we think this day possible. At least not yet. If you remember, I asked to go first, but not for at least another 50 years. Nevertheless, this day came. I have so much to say to you, but today I want to just focus on today.
I wanted it to be a dark and dreary day. But it wasn't. It was a beautiful, sunny, crisp winter day. It was a day that would usually remind me of why I love Arizona. The sun was shining bright, the sky was a beautiful blue. It was a gorgeous day to celebrate your life here on earth.
I felt you were there. Did you see how many people loved you? Love us? Love your family? Love my family? Did you see how many hearts you touched by your words and deeds? I was given so many hugs today by people that were at one time impacted by your example, your smile, your teachings, your humor, your work ethic, your positive attitude, your desire to do good and serve others, your ability to have fun, your love for sports and your love for all mankind.
When this day was too much for me or the boys, I know we were carried by our Savior. I know that you were watching over us. I know that we were surrounded by a cloud of prayers on our behalf. I was told I am strong, but I don't think anyone is strong enough to face a day like today on their own strength.
Another reason why I am so grateful for our families. We each have such amazing families. They have engulfed me and the boys in love this past week. My family has silently and willingly done all the things I have no strength or desire to do. They continue to shower the boys with love. I cannot express how grateful I am for your family. I think the boys and I feel closest to you when we are with them. Much of who you are is because of your immediate and extended family. It was a a grand reunion. Do you remember the time Grandpa told us he would never get on those flying contraptions? Well, he did. For you.
I truly believe that friendships are made when souls connect. Today we witnessed that you were a good friend to many people. But today, I experienced the sadness of people that were also good friends to you, me and your family. I tried my best to comfort them. I prayed for them. And I hope that they found peace in the messages and songs that were shared today.
Today we sang your favorite song, "Because I Have Been Given Much." I know that you lived your life by the words of this song.
"Because I have been given much, I too must give.
I shall give love to those in need. I'll show that love by word and deed."
but today, I saw countless others living this song. I am humbled by the many people that served our family to create such a beautiful service and memory for us. I am filled with gratitude for the countless acts of service that have been done on our behalf this last week and are people that are continually doing so.
The boys and I love you! I know you left Jacob to be my protector. He pushes away anyone he thinks is making me cry. Every time Alex gives me one of his long bear hugs, I know you sent him. Thomas has had to quickly fill your shoes. He is still too little for such big shoes, but I am grateful for the deep footprints you have left behind in his heart. When the nice gentleman with the beautiful voice sang, "Come Thou Fount" I was sadly remembering the day you proposed. Thomas wrapped him arms around me told me not to worry, that we would see you again.
So, on a day that was supposed to be dark and dreary, but was actually beautiful and bright. we took care of each other. We are grateful for the sweet memories that were shared and the sweet spirit we felt.
3 years ago