I was driving in the car with several friends. Damond was one of them. We had known each other for less than a month. Kaliska asked him when was his birthday. He replied, "August 22nd." I quickly looked in the mirror, "no it's not. That's my birthday!" He laughed, "that's my birthday." "Did you get into my wallet? Are you looking at my DOB?" I just could not believe we had the same birthday!
August 22, 2003
We had been married less than two weeks. I woke up to a gory, bloody eye in my face. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I busted my eye open playing basketball. ( I would find out later this was a common occurrence w/him). I just don't want you to worry, since I don't know how long I will be gone." Waking up, "Are you ok? Let me get dressed. I will go with you."
"no, no. I don't want to ruin your birthday. Don't worry. I will be back soon."
He did not let me go. I came out of the room to find a dozen beautiful roses.
It is something quite special to share your birthday with your bestfriend!
We celebrated in the back of his pickup overlooking Camelback Mountain
He would always make me such awesome elaborate homemade cards and give me beautiful roses! We would spend the day trying to make it special for the other person. Though, there was one year we each forgot to make a cake for the other person. So, we had no cake ;)
August 22, 2013
I had been dreading this day since Thomas came to me on Dec. 29th sad that his Dad would not be there for his birthday or for his own. He asked me how we would celebrate his Dad.
I wanted to ignore the day, but I knew Thomas would be upset when he realized we had not celebrated his Dad's (and mine) birthday.
I knew I would not be in the mood to celebrate, but we could do something to honor their dad. We decided that each year, we would do a service project to honor a man we love dearly and was dedicated to serving others. We will be planting flowers at the boys' school and cleaning up garbage at the cemetery.
I decided that today would be a good day to take the boys back to the cemetery for the first time. We wrote letters to Damond and left them with the flowers.
I was adamant about not celebrating my birthday. My SIL would not listen though. She said we had to do something, even if she had to drag me kicking. :) I told her I wanted to go to a shooting range. For eight months, I have been dealing with a myriad of emotions. I wanted to finally give in to the anger and frustration and go shooting.
But as I stepped into the range and put the gun in my hand, I knew that I could not shoot in anger. Damond would never have wanted me to pick up a gun in anger. (I am pretty sure that is a NO! NO! in the Farar's Gun Safety Rules)
I decided in that moment that in my 31st year of life, I will learn to do what I/we had depended on Damond to do. I will learn to protect and provide for us. But, it must be done with strength given to us by our Savior and Heavenly Father. We are not alone! We will move forward with faith and not with anger.
(After some instruction from Isaac, my shots were getting more accurate ;) )
A day I dreaded, turned into something special as my phone was flooded with texts and phone calls. I was sent messages all day long, they encouraged me to keep going. I received countless acts of love on our behalf. It is a blessing to feel so much love.
My deepest thanks to our Family and Friends!!!